My Only Regret
by bogart
Summary: He had never wanted anything in his entire life as bad as he wanted her.He wanted her to his forever. All those other things he had wanted for all of his life did not compare to this. It didn't compare to the want for something he could never have.


Hey guys! This is just a little something I wrote when I was bored in class the one day. I haven't wrote anything for fanfiction in a long time, so if it's terrible, that's my reason. Hope you enjoy it!

* * *

He had never wanted anything in his entire life as bad as he wanted her. Nothing even came close. Broomsticks, books, and the occasional girl had all been desires, but now he realized they were not truly wants. He wanted her to his forever. And now, today, the opportunity was gone. Gone like a leaf in the breeze. Gone like the sun at dusk. All those other things he had wanted for the first twenty one years of his life did not compare to this. It did not compare to the want for something he wanted more than his own life. The want for something that he could never have.

The shade fell in his eyes, just blocking out the sun, but not that he noticed. The yard in front of him was filled with people watching the proceedings happening just under the archway. He knew today was supposed to be a joyous day for all involved, but he couldn't pretend that he wasn't hurting. He had never seen her so beautiful before. An angel in pure white, her tiara glittering ever so slightly in the midday light. Next to her, a man he used to consider his best friend was listening intently to the official. He knew he shouldn't be here, but he couldn't just ignore this as though nothing was happening. He brushed a hand through his blonde hair, turning away from the scene. Scorpius knew he should be standing next to her today. She should be getting married to him, not Nick. He had tried to tell her that...  
_  
Standing in the hall, he could hear humming coming from a partly closed door. He paused, fist hovering above the door for a moment before gathering up the courage to knock._

"Come in!" she sang, the happiness practically dripping from her voice.

He pushed the door open the rest of the way and stood just inside the room. He watched in silence as she fixed her make up in the mirror before turning. She gasped when she saw his face.

"You really don't need that, you know." He whispered.

Her mouth opened once, twice before she found words. "What?"

"The make up. You're just as, if not more, beautiful without it."

She shook her head as though trying to wake up from a bad dream. "Why....why are you here?"

"Al told me. Try not to be mad at him. It was my fault. I couldn't let you do this without seeing you again."

She turned away from him. "Stop. We can't do this. I won't do this."

"Why? Do you really love him?" He asked, trying to keep the bitterness from his voice, but failing.

She flinched slightly, but when she turned back to face him, there was fire in her eyes. "Yes. I do."

He shook his head. "Just think, you're name going to be Rose Wood." He snorted.

"And I suppose you think Rose Malfoy sounds soo much better." She spat angrily.

He crossed the room in two steps, towering over her. "Yes... Rose... I love you. I've always loved -"

"No. Scorpius, we've danced this dance before. I'm through. I'm through with broken promises and lies. I'm done worrying about you. I've found someone that I can depend on and who doesn't lie to me. I've found someone that I love and that I can build a life with."

"I could..."

"No, you can't. I think you need to leave now." She pointed at the door. "Just go."

He stood there, staring at her.

"Please." The whisper was so quiet that he didn't see her lips move. He nodded his head and carefully shut the door behind him. 

He turned away from the wedding, unable to watch another moment of it. He felt literally sick to his stomach. Walking through the forest, to an observer it would appear as though he was wondering aimlessly, but he knew better. His feet were moving on their own accord. They were moving to the place where they had kissed....  
_  
"Come on, you wimp." He called from high in the sky._

"No way."

The makeshift Quidditch pitch around the two fifteen year olds was a mess of trees and leaves, and weeds. The day was warm and his shirt was long forgotten in the grass. Even from his view in the air, he could see that the face of the girl who he had been fighting with every day since first year was beat red. A true sign of her anger.

"You scared?"

"No!"

"I bet you are..."

"Shut up."

"Wait until Al and Nick comes back from the house -"

"And what? You can't handle me by myself?"

That did it. He flew down to inches from the ground and scooped her up in his arms.

"Scorp!" she yelled, wiggling against him.

"Stop. Hell, do you want me to drop you." He was struggling to hold her in one arm and fly the broom with the other. He hadn't really thought this through.

That caused her to freeze. "Scorp, please let me down."

"No. Come on, just turn around and hold onto me." He commanded. He slowed the broom to a standstill in mid-air.

It was awkward, he decided. It looked like she was giving him a hug, but it would have to do. He started flying slowly, moving higher into the sky, above the tree line.

"Scorpius." she whimpered, her head buried into her arms.

"Relax. Just look for a moment, please."

He watched her lift her head up and look around. "You can see everything."

"Told you it wasn't so bad."

"I still don't like flying."

"Un-huh."

She laid her head on his shoulder and just watched the world go by as he made another pass over the trees. He felt a hand gently trace around his shoulder as he brought the broom back to the ground. He hopped off and offered her a hand. She awkwardly dismounted, almost falling into him. He held her there for a moment, though not sure why. She looked up at him and moved some of this long blonde hair away from his face. Her eyes were like a deep pool, keeping him locked in place. Then, surprising him, she reached up and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you. That was nice."

Shocking them both, he held her in her place and gave her a sweet kiss.

She stared at him wide eyed for a moment before a small smile filled her face. He went to talk when he heard crashing through the woods. 

He leaned against one of the trees at the edge of the overrun pitch. No one had played here in years. Two weeks after that day before sixth year, they had started dating. He could remember how nice it was for the first few months. She was the most amazing person he had ever known. The bliss was short lived. By Christmas, they were fighting like they had for the past five years.

_The dormitory door slammed shut. He stormed over to his bed and hit his pillow furiously. The room was empty except for his two friends, Nick and Al._

"Another fight?"

Scorpius growled.

Al rolled off his bed and gave a slight chuckle. "Did you think dating my cousin would be easy? You knew she was like fire before you started dating. You've known her since we were eleven. She has a hot temper.

"Well, She doesn't have to be such a..." He knew arguing with Albus was pointless. He had never won a fight against his friend.

"Oh, just shut up, Scorp." Nick barked, unnaturally irritable, from his bed. "Why do you bother, it just doesn't make sense to me."

Scorpius' brow furrowed. Nick was as calm as can be. Always. They had met when they were six and not once had he ever snapped at him or anyone else like this.

"Nick..." Al warned.

"No, what?" He was mad.

"Why are you even dating her? You are miserable. She is miserable. She doesn't deserve this. Fighting all the time, is it even worth it anymore Scorpius?

"Yes." He paused. "Of course."

"You sure?" Nick questioned. "Do you love her? Cause if you don't, she doesn't deserve this. She doesn't' deserve you."

Scorp lunged at his friend, but Al pulled him back. "Just shut up."

Nick turned to leave the room. "Just putting it into prospective for you."

He should have known then. Five years ago, he should have realized what was going on. But he hadn't thought....he hadn't thought that his best friend from the time he was a small boy would take her away. They had had their rough spots, but he loved her. If he could go back and change that night...  
_  
He knew that he was going to get it. Running down the street, he scrambled to find his keys. The flat was eerily silent as he took off his cloak and stowed his wand in his back pocket. He poked his head into the kitchen and found it deserted. Continuing down the hall, he finally came to their bedroom. The door was part shut, but he could hear someone moving around. Pushing the door with his foot, he stopped short at what he saw._

"What are you doing?"

She turned, red eyes shining. "Leaving."

His breath caught in his throat. "W-w-why?"

She pushed another shirt into her bag." Why? Because. Because I am tired of this. I'm tired of fighting with you. I'm tired of wondering when you're coming home. I'm tired of trying to love you and not getting anything in return. It's not worth it anymore, Scorpius."

He stood there silent, watching her carefully shut her bag and place it on her back. "I'm done." she whispered, slipping past her.

"Don't." he grabbed her wrist.

She shook her head. "No. I can't do this anymore. Goodbye."

And that time, he let her walk out.

As he sat there, Scorpius realized something. He blamed Nick. He had been blaming Nick for today. He thought that today was the day that he lost her. But he was wrong. He has lost her two years ago. He lost her when she had left that night and he didn't do a thing to stop her. He knew he should be happy for her. She was happy. Isn't that what he should want? But it was hard, it was hard when the only thing he had ever really wanted in life was gone.


End file.
